Planning for Purple Shabbat: Raising Awareness of Domestic Violence

Did you know that JFS has a program that provides domestic violence (DV) services? It’s called Project DVORA. Most of our Project DVORA staff members focus on supporting people who have experienced, or are currently experiencing, domestic violence, but my role is to guide and empower the Jewish community through prevention programs and trainings for local schools, rabbis, and other community leaders.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and people often wear a purple ribbon or purple clothes to raise awareness about DV and honor survivors. Another way to do this is to organize a Purple Shabbat. Read on to find out more about how you can get involved.

What Is Domestic Violence?

Domestic violence (also called domestic abuse or intimate partner violence) is a pattern of behavior used by one person to exert power and control over another. These behaviors might include emotional, psychological, and verbal attacks; physical and sexual abuse; and financial control. An abusive person will often isolate the survivor from their friends, family, and community support systems. Around one in four women and one in seven men will experience physical, emotional, or sexual abuse in an intimate relationship (National Domestic Violence Hotline). Both survivors and perpetrators of abuse come from every walk of Jewish life, every denomination, every congregation, all ages, all race and ethnicities, all sexual orientations, and all socioeconomic backgrounds.

Healthy Relationships, Grounded in Judaism

Judaism teaches us a concept called b’tzelem eloheim, that all people are created in the image of God. We all deserve to be treated with dignity and respect, and to have safe and equitable relationships. The Talmud teaches that every life is an entire universe and that “anyone who destroys a life is considered by Scripture to have destroyed an entire world; and anyone who saves a life is as if he saved an entire world” (Sanhedrin 4:5).

The Jewish values of tikkun olam (repairing the world) and tzedek (justice) cannot exist without safety and equality in our relationships. There can be a false assumption that what takes place in the home is a private matter. But that assumption can keep survivors of DV isolated and at increased risk.

Relationships are central to Judaism. Many Jewish prayers and rituals require a minyan, or a group of ten people, because we know that we can’t exist in isolation. Promoting healthy relationships and sharing resources for those experiencing partner violence is something that happens best in community, not in isolation.

Through Project DVORA, I offer workshops and trainings for both young people and adults focused on healthy relationships, assertive communication, boundaries, consent, and understanding abuse. We know that preventing relationship abuse is a collective responsibility. We are here to support survivors of abuse and to help the Jewish community gain skills to recognize signs of abusive behavior and to prevent abuse from occurring.

Purple Shabbat

As I mentioned above, October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. It’s an excellent time to learn more about the warning signs of abuse, and wear purple to raise awareness about domestic violence and honor survivors. Another way to do this is to organize a Purple Shabbat.

Participating in Purple Shabbat signals that your community supports survivors of DV, helps break the stigma in discussing the realities of DV, normalizes conversations about healthy and unhealthy patterns in relationships, and reinforces that violence and abuse will not be tolerated in Jewish communities.

I know it can feel uncomfortable to talk about DV. We can reframe that discomfort by instead celebrating Jewish communities that prioritize everybody’s safety.

Please contact me to discuss organizing a Purple Shabbat with your community: dvoraprevention@jfsseattle.org.